One Tough Decision

I’m not a flu shot kind of person. I’ve never had one before this year, and I haven’t had the flu since I was in high school. Maybe even middle school. I can’t really remember.

But this year, with a little over a month to go before my little girl was due to make her entrance into this world, theBoy and I faced one of the hardest decisions we’ve ever had to make. In fact, as a couple, it was the hardest decision we’ve ever made.

After months of hearing how dangerous the H1N1 Flu is for pregnant women (especially those in the 3rd trimester like myself), the vaccine became available to me. It was mine for the taking. If I wanted it.

Because of all the unknowns associated with the new H1N1 vaccine, I soon realized it was going to be totally up to me whether I got one or not.

My OB told me he’s not a fan of flu shots either (I knew I liked him). He doesn’t get them and hasn’t had the flu in over a decade. I was hard pressed to find anyone to give me straight forward medical advice when it came to this new vaccine. I tried to do my own research and came up with a complete mix of opinions and ended up more confused than when I started.

TheBOY and I went back and forth a hundred times. Finally, with 32 days of my pregancy left to go, the day of the flu clinic arrived. The night before, after lots of prayer and discussion, we decided to go for it. What a grueling decision.

Would our baby girl be affected by the vaccine?

How likely would it be that I would even get the dreaded Swine Flu if I didn’t get vaccinated?

After the nurse jabbed my arm and sent the vaccine swirling into my bloodstream, I walked away as quickly as I could blinking back tears.

What had I done?

Then I noticed I’d missed a call from theBOY, and I just knew he had called to tell me to turn back. Don’t do it. Run!

He hadn’t. He called to give me a pep talk because he knew how freaked I was. I was an emotional wreck for the next 10 mintues or so, but theBOY helped calm me down over the phone.

So, did we make the right decision? Who knows. Only time will tell. I’m praying for a healthy winter for our entire family. In the meantime, I know we have one tough parental decision down….only a million (or so) more to go.

Growing up can be tough, and I’m learning that being a mom is going to be even tougher.

What’s a tough decision you’ve had to make as a mom recently? What resources did you use to help you make the decision?

Two Pink Lines.

I’ve kept a journal since grade school. I think I had to for a class once, and the concept just stayed with me. The day I found out I was pregnant, I started a new journal to record the adventure I was starting.  This is the first entry of that journal….

3-13-09 / 3:45 p.m.

There were two pink lines.

It’s been three months since your father (what!?) and I decided to throw caution to the wind, and today there are two pink lines waiting to be discovered by him when he gets home from work. I made those two pink lines prettier by covering up the end I peed on with a pretty paper embellishment. I ripped it off the invitation to Melissa’s baby shower. I knew I saved that invitation for something.

3-13-09 / 6:35 p.m.

Well, that didn’t go anywhere near like I planned.

The first thing your father (okay, still weird) does when he gets home from work everyday is head to the bathroom. I left the pink lines on the toilet lid where he’d be sure to see it within minutes of arriving home.

Not today.

Instead of going to the bathroom, he came in and showed me his new business cards.

Then he checked his email (he NEVER checks his email).

Then he came back in the kitchen where I was making dinner to chit chat some more.

Then he went into the living room and started watching 30 Rock which was recorded from the previous evening. 

Then he noticed the furnace wasn’t working properly and went downstairs to inspect it.

I called the furnace man to schedule an appointment.

Then we ate dinner while he finished his show.

Then he went into the bathroom to take a shower. (Finally!)

“What is this doing in….,” he started.

He’d spotted the two pink lines and the embellishment covering the wet tip. 

To hear him tell it, his mind went completely blank. What does two lines mean? The second line is so faint – does that mean something?

Little Poppy Seed (that’s the size you are right now – I did some research), he doesn’t know whether to believe it’s true or not! I called to make an appointment for a blood test. Apparently that’s the only way to know for sure. My appointment isn’t until March 23, though, so we’re living in limbo until then, I guess.

But I know you’re there, little Poppy Seed.

Keeping a journal is the only way I know to ensure the details of these special memories aren’t forgotten. My memory is horrible, so I write. I encourage everyone to give it a try. You might even be surprised what you find yourself writing! Sometimes my feelings and thoughts can’t be completely formulated until I take pen to paper.

Do you keep a journal? Why or why not?