Author Archives: Sarah (theGIRL)

Nine Years Later

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I call him theBOY around here, and usually that suits him just fine – mostly because I still think of him as the 16-year-old boy who called my house because I told his best friend he should. (Or something like that. After 16 years, these details get fuzzy.)

But today “theBOY” doesn’t seem right.

Over the last nine years of marriage, this man of mine has…
spoiled me rotten
surprised me over and over
worked harder than I can even think about working
taught me how to love
pointed me to Truth when I’ve strayed or struggled
made me laugh (and I’ve actually admitted it at least twice)
become an amazing dad
put up with all my over thinking and hormones
made me feel loved every single day

Today, I’m counting it my gift to celebrate nine years with the man of my dreams. He has my love and respect until death do we part.

Diaper Dee Doo {Easy Baby Shower Centerpieces}

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By almost all measures, I’m a pretty lousy blogger.

I don’t write consistently.

I don’t have a narrow niche of readers whom I write for.

I just ended a sentence with a preposition.

I usually hide for at least a week after I post something from the heart.

But, I keep reminding myself that it’s my blog, so it’s okay.  Today I’m coming out of hiding with a feelings-free, fun and easy project. I’m sharing a super easy centerpiece idea for a baby shower…

In March, I helped my mom throw a shower for my sister-in-law. Now that my cute-as-can-be nephew is four weeks old, I guess it’s time to finally share this project.

(Hey, it’s been a busy few months! And I’m a bad blogger. See intro to this post.)

I looked on Etsy first (because let’s face it – my motto is: if you can pay someone to do it better and faster than you, do it!), but I came up empty.

I knew I wanted to use baseball toppers to match the baseball theme of the shower, so I just had theBOY pick up some at Target, got a few pointers from a seasoned diaper-cake-maker, and ta-da!

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Seriously simple….

For each centerpiece I used:

  • 24-26 size one diapers (eight for the top tier, 16-18 for the bottom tier)
  • 28 rubber bands (24 small, 4 large)
  • One heavy-duty straw (a doll rod would work too)
  • Ribbon
  • Scrapbook paper (to match theme)

Roll each diaper up (with any designs on the inside) and secure with a rubber band. When you have all your diapers rolled, start with one diaper and surround it with the remaining seven diapers and secure with your larger rubber band (for the bottom layer, repeat this step around with the remaining diapers).

I asked theBOY to drill small holes into the baseballs, then inserted a stiff straw (from Target’s party section) and placed it inside the middle diaper. The straw was long enough to hold the two layers together, but I recommend using a doll rod if you can’t find long enough straws.

Then, decorate to your heart’s content! I’ve seen lots of cute ideas, but I wanted to keep these fairly simply.

Are you a DIY person, or would you rather pay someone to put the party together? Have any fun party planning tips to share?

These Walls {Thanks to Motherhood}

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Today is the last day for the Thanks to Motherhood series, and I have to thank all of my guest posters. It has been an honor to host your words! Thanks to those whose posts were published and those whose weren’t. Thanks also to those who wrote and never submitted. (I wish you would have!) 

Thanks to motherhood…and thanks to my own mom, my guest bloggers, my friends, my readers, my family…

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These Walls

If these walls could talk, what would they say? About me? About my mothering? About my family? Our life?

I’m fairly certain these walls wouldn’t concern themselves with the petty stuff. No, these walls would know better.

My walls wouldn’t care whether my son sleeps with his pacifier until he is 12 months or four years old. Instead, they’d tell of bedtime stories and sing-alongs. Prayers and snuggles.

They wouldn’t report whether mama nurses her baby or gives him a bottle. Instead, they’d speak of the quiet, middle-of-the-night bonding between mother and infant.

They wouldn’t judge the decision to have the baby sleep in her own bed from the start or in the same room as her mama.

Or ponder whether the food on the table is organic or processed or even from the nearby drive-thru with golden arches (…ahem). Instead…they’d tell dinnertime tales of babies learning to say prayers and discovering corn-on-the-cob.

I think they’d skip the cloth or disposable diaper debate in order to tell the story of a baby who, upon being freed from the diaper, runs naked and carefree from room to room in giggles and squeals of delight.

And whether I homeschool these kiddos or send them to private school? Or public school? No, instead they’d tell stories of a mama teaching her children every single time the opportunity presents itself.

And when I lose my temper or jump to conclusions or choose lazy over love? These walls would tell of a mom and wife who apologizes and the family who readily forgives.

These walls of mine? They wouldn’t judge the decisions – our decisions – that, in the end, have no impact on the amount of love within these cramped walls.

I’d like to think these walls of ours would have an eternal perspective – not one based on the latest research or trend. And they’d see the whole picture – not just what we present to the outside world.

The point? No two families are the same, and there is no “right way” to do this thing.

When loving others is our primary goal, the only bad decision is the one made to impress those outside of these walls.

As a wise friend recently said, what happens within the walls of our own homes should be our focus. When that’s the case, your unique version of motherhood can truly honor the One who created the job in the first place.

So, love unconditionally, find something to be thankful for every day, ask for forgiveness when you blow it, and seek answers from your Creator not Google. Unless your friend’s two-year-old eats his brother’s poop and she asks you to Google the situation. In that case, definitely ask Google what to do next.

(What? Lorretta told us not to skip the poopy talk. And it happened, people. It happened. You’re jealous of my friends, aren’t you?)

Anyway…

Trust your mama-instincts, but openly seek advice from trusted friends when you need it. And at the end of this journey through motherhood, may your walls sing of the love that inhabited your home.

Because without love, it’s all for nothing. (1 Corinthians 13:1-3)

Happy Mother’s Day to all of you – those celebrating with your children and those celebrating with your mom and those wishing you could celebrate with your children and mom.

And happy Mother’s Day to my own mom, who passed on a love of reading and writing, continues to love me unconditionally, and sacrifices for me without hesitation.

I love you, Mom.

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So, tell me…how are you celebrating today? What did you think of the series? Would you like more guest series in the future? 

Mother of the Year {Thanks to Motherhood}

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Lorretta from Dancing on the Dash is with us today, and I couldn’t be happier to have her as the last guest in the Thanks to Motherhood series. I think you’ll understand why after you read this…

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Mother of the Year, Runner Up; 21 Years and Counting…

I’m rounding the final bends of active motherhood with 4 more years until I shift into a more passive role.  I will NEVER stop being their mother, but my relationship with them will and must change.

Perhaps, like me, you started the journey with stars in your eyes a heart bursting with hopeful expectation.

Those early newborn days were the dawn of a whole new world for me.  I held my child, fell so deeply in love, trusting with all my heart, to be a good mother I must generously apply the best of what I knew (worldly), and then do opposite of all my parents had done so wrong.

I was a great preschool teacher and babysitter; creative and so much fun– so I would be a great mother too, right? Easy breezy!

And, (if you’re done snorting and laughing now….) you know that NOTHING could be further from the truth.

Lawd, there were days, the voice of Gone With the Wind’s “Prissy” rang clear in my mind: “I don’t know nothin’ ’bout birthin’ no babies!”

It scared. me. to. death.

Because what none of us is prepared to factor into the equation is the same parent problem God deals with all the time: free will.

About the time I’d get one factor under semi “control”…something else would spring loose and cause panic.

Did I mention I was terrified? Yeah.

Once I realized how hard…how daily and how endless the challenge was going to be and how ill-equipped I really was, well then, I was terrified of doing it wrong and ..don’t miss  this….VERY concerned about what other mothers were thinking about me.  Because, of course, they were getting it “right” and nobody invited me to that information meeting.

I honestly believed I was one of the few who felt this way.

I had no idea what to do about colic, night terrors, imaginary friends, tantrums, picky eating, obsessive-compulsive nighttime rituals, home  school, dating, college, FAFSA…gah!

You know what they say in the “big leagues”; you’re only as good as your last “at bat”. Y’all, I  couldn’t get it right long enough to cover the distance. I’d be chuggin’ along, juggling responsibilities, chainsaws and feral cats … doing fine until that ONE moment…strike three.

My running joke was “There goes Mother of the Year– again! Dang…I was SO close!”

Truthfully, God has grown and raised me, drawing me closer to Him through this experience than I knew possible.  I’m convinced, motherhood, like other relationships, is designed by God supremely for that reason. The other benefits are just icing on the cake.

So, I learned how to calm colicky babies, pray through night terrors, set an extra place for imaginary friends, redirect tantrums, puree veggies into the mac-n-cheese and how to patiently endure the night time routine…a thing of the past I miss so much.

I read, played, got dirty, painted, yelled, cried, laughed, learned, taught, fought, failed, yelled and cried some more…and said I’m sorry….a lot.

I’m amazed. Yes, by what God has done, but also….by YOU. These communities out here in the blogosphere and in(RL) making themselves accountable and available to one another. I’m amazed when I see mothers out here sharing and loving in community, leaning on one another for advice and that extra sniff of hope allowing us put two feet back on the lego-strewn floor and try again.

Today, mine are 21, 18 and 14. I’m blown away by the hand of God on our lives and evidenced through theirs. Oh the gracious grace.  I see also, I didn’t do as badly as I thought either. Wanna know some secrets I learned?

  1. Have a humble and teachable spirit; start over 24-7-365 if necessary.
  2. Bunt, switch hit, steal a base…whatever….just stay in the game.
  3. Find community, be honest, learn and grow.

And oh Mommas…don’t judge one another; mercy one another, walk side by side and share, share, share. Not only the “pretty” stuff, share the “poopy” stuff too because…well, it’s the fertilizer of life and we need it all.

There. You are hereby crowned “Mother of the Year” and I leave you with this poem hung on my wall and in my heart for 21 years:

I tried to teach

Note from Sarah:  I laughed. I cried. I completely loved this post. Did you relate with Lorretta’s early motherhood expecations like I did?

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LorettaLorretta Stembridge is the wife of one, mother of 3, sold out follower of Jesus Christ who once had to give up an “R” for Jesus (ask her sometime!). A writer, video editor and media designer by trade who loves to take discarded and ignored things and turn them into something lovely. Others call this Folk Art; she calls it redemption. Dancing on that dash, Lorretta strives to live every day as God’s big “show and tell”, trusting nothing about her past, present or future will be wasted in His capable and loving hands.

It Hurt My Heart {Thanks to Motherhood}

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I’m sharing two posts today (did I mention the response to this series was overwhelming?), and the first is from one of my friends. The newest mom to participate. She’s six months old in mom years, and she’s already got some great advice for moms-to-be. Will you say hello to Michelle in the comments? And come back later today for the last guest post of the series….you’ll want to. Trust me.

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I’m a new mom of a six-month-old baby girl.

Before she was born, I was scared, nervous and excited like most soon-to-be moms.

Then it happened…I was a mom.

I anticipated how I was going to feel when she was born. Everyone can tell you how you are going to feel, but reality is so much better.

I never knew this kind of love and joy before.  It is so deep, sudden and pure. It actually hurt my heart I was so happy.

I wish everyone could feel this at some point in their life, mom or not…

As we started our new journey together, I remembered what other moms said, “Sleep when the baby sleeps” and “Enjoy every minute.”  I don’t know about you, but I hardly ever slept when the baby slept.  I just wasn’t tired.  I was wired with the idea that I had time to myself to do whatever I wanted.

Sometimes I wanted to clean.  Sometimes I wanted to watch a show or paint my nails.

The point is, do whatever you want to do when the baby is sleeping.  It is your precious time that is now limited – so enjoy it.

As for enjoying every minute, well it doesn’t have to be EVERY minute.

Quantity isn’t quality

Everyone leads busy lives so you can’t be with your baby every minute, but carving out quality time with no distractions is something you will never regret.

Another thing I quickly learned after becoming a mom? Guidelines are guidelines.

I interviewed friends, read books and signed up for every e-newsletter on having a baby.

Even though I was exhausted with just being pregnant in general, I tried to cram in as much as I could before she got here.

The moment that reminded that guidelines are guidelines is when I was trying to learn how to nurse.  My girl just loved her sleep and wouldn’t wake up to nurse, which was news to me. Who knew  babies slept so long!  I thought they were up every two hours.  When she didn’t wake, I thought she wasn’t getting enough food because I didn’t know if I was nursing properly.  I would pull out my iPhone and start researching.

One day I called the lactation number and no one picked up so I called again and again.  Finally, someone called me back and I was in a complete panic.  I explained my situation and the women on the other end said, “Sweetie, you are doing everything right.  Those are just guidelines.  You are just fine.”

I started to cry.  I was putting so much pressure on myself.  It says right there in the book, the baby must eat every 2-3 hours and my girl was eating every 4-5 hours.  Apparently, it was OK… I needed to hear that and from that day on, I gave myself a break.  Every baby is different.   Take advice or don’t, but remember this –you are doing the best you can and that is good enough.

Motherhood is the hardest, most-rewarding job I will ever know.  It has changed who I am and the way I think.  I’m learning something new every day about the person I am and who I want to be.  I’m so thankful I was blessed with this opportunity.

Note from Sarah: While some babies are up every two hours, Michelle’s reminder that not all babies are the same is a great one! I always tell first-time moms that I listened to every piece of advice that came my way, and after theBABY got here the pieces of advice I needed popped back in my head right when I needed it! Thanks to Julie A., Aren L., Tiffany K., Becca B., and Debbie C. for those snippets of conversation that were much needed after baby arrived!  How about you? Did someone give you a piece of advice before becoming a mom that you needed to know (even if you didn’t realize it at the time)?

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michelleMichelle is the proud mom of one sweet, happy, beautiful baby girl, who loves to laugh just like her mama.  She loves being creative, singing, hiking and spending most of my time with the people she loves.

You Are Seen {Thanks to Motherhood}

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What can I say about today’s guest poster? Crystal is an encourager extraordinaire. She always has a genuine, uplifting word to share. Today is no different. I’m so excited to introduce her to those of you who are new to her writing…

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Dear Mama –

I need to tell you something today. I need to look into your eyes, pour into your heart over a cup of coffee, ignoring the piles of laundry and dishes in the sink (we’re at my house, by the way). Kick off your shoes and ignore the crayons scattered across the floor.

I need to tell you that you are doing a great job. You know that, right? That on the days when it seems like nothing is possibly going right, that no one hears you or sees the work you do; you are doing an amazing, brave, mighty work.

You are seen. I see the way you sacrifice your own comfort and time to do the mama things. The things no one says “thank you” for, the cleaning, caring, nurturing. And I see, too, how your weary eyes don’t always believe that you’re fine, even when you tell me you are. It’s okay not to be fine. It’s okay not to love every second of motherhood. In those “not fine” moments I hope you know that you have a shoulder to cry on, a cup of coffee waiting, a walk outside in the fresh air with a friend to clear your mind.

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Stand firm, mama. Know that God sees what you’re doing. He’s there for the late nights and early mornings. He was there for the first giggle, was present for the first steps and the first time your little one said “I love you.” God has chosen you, sweet friend, for this very season, to raise your little ones on bended knee because that’s the only way we know how to do it.

Friend? Why don’t we let go of trying to do it all perfectly, and just trust God to help us be the moms He created us to be. Keep at it, mama. This kingdom work is not in vain.

Note from Sarah: Didn’t I tell you? So encouraging. Now, go and do this mama thing. Or go hug a mama who needs it.

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crystalstineCrystal’s heart is to encourage women through the written word. She is a full-time working mama dedicated to her family, pursuing God Sized Dreams & her jobs as a marketing/social media professional, (in)courage Community Leader Coordinator, Allume contributor & Raising Generations Today team member. Follow her on Twitter at @CrystalStine.

Now I Know, Mom {Thanks to Motherhood}

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Welcome back!!  We’re in the middle of the Thanks to Motherhood series, and I don’t know about you, but I’m feeling extra thankful for my own mom.

Today, my friend Melissa shares what she’d like to tell her mom…now that she’s a mom herself. I cried the first time I read these words because Melissa and I grew up together, and I’m thankful to her mom for many of these things, too!

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I’m pretty sure I was blessed with two daughters so I could fully appreciate everything my own mom has ever done for me. Being a mom is the single most selfless job that exists.

I know most other mothers can relate when I say that what I’d like to tell my mother now that I am a mother myself is…

THANK YOU!

In no particular order, here are my THANK YOUS.

  • Thank you for wiping my behind and snotty nose, and for kissing every boo-boo that I got as an infant and child. Doing these tasks now is an important part of my job – just not a very glamorous part.
  • Thank you for putting up with my OCD tendencies. I know all the mornings spent re-doing my hair 100 times so there weren’t any “bumpies” was the biggest pain in the behind. I’m glad you get a good laugh now seeing me deal with the same aggravations with my own daughters.
  • Thank you for taking days off work when I was sick. As a working mother, I now know how hard it is to scramble to rearrange your schedule at 7:00am. But as a child, nothing healed better than mommy cuddles. Even as a college student, you dropped everything to drive two hours to pick me up and bring me home when I was too sick to get out of bed. It has helped me realize that when my kids are sick there isn’t anyone else they want around more than me.
  • Thank you for always opening our home to my friends. Many memories were made climbing our big tree in the front yard, playing games in the basement, and having slumber parties. When my own girls are older, I will remind myself of these memories when there are constant messes and non-stop giggles in our house.
  • Speaking of friends, thank you for sending me to kindergarten when I was four years old. As a mother of a four-year old, I now know how hard it probably was to let go and trust in someone else to be caring for me at school all day.  If you hadn’t made that decision, I wouldn’t have the most amazing lifelong friends a girl could ask for.
  • Thank you for being my #1 cheerleader and letting me try new things. It didn’t matter if I was the worst volleyball or softball player out there, you were always there cheering me on!
  • Thank you for biting your tongue and letting me make mistakes. It led me to discover more about myself than going through life doing things the way you probably thought I should have. I know this is going to be one of the hardest things for me to do as a parent.
  • Thank you for leading by example and showing me how important a loving marriage is to the whole family. It means the world to me that I grew up in a loving, secure, and stable environment.
  • Thank you for teaching me how important family is. Some friendships may come and go but family is always there.
  • Thank you for footing the bill when I lost my big scholarship going into my sophomore year of college. I am eternally grateful for the sacrifices you made to make sure I could go back. Branching out and moving away from home made me realize just how important it is for me to always be close to my family.
  • Thank you for letting me move back home after college. I don’t think I would have been able to survive without those extra couple of years saving money. Plus, I got to enjoy a few bonus years living with you and Dad.
  • Thank you for working where you do! If it wasn’t for you, I would have never met my husband.
  • Thank you for loving my baby girls with all of your heart. They are the luckiest two little ladies to be able to call you “Ma.”

I could go on, but I’ll finish by saying this:

I can only hope that in 30+ years my own daughters will look back on their childhood and relationship with me with as much fondness and appreciation that I have for you, mom. Thank you for just being you!

What’s one (or more) thing you’d like to thank your mom for today?  Let us know in the comments. Then? Consider writing it in a Mother’s Day card.

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melissaMelissa is a happily married momma of two girls, ages 4 and 2. She works full-time, enjoys anything that helps make life more organized, and can’t live without fountain Diet Coke (because she’s too young to drink coffee)! In her free time she reads far too many blogs, loves playing with her girls, and going on dates with her husband visiting the local casinos. You can say hello to her on Twitter!

This Must Be Love {Thanks to Motherhood}

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Today I’m so happy to have Tonya here to share her motherhood experience with us. As a mom of teenagers, she has a perspective we haven’t heard from yet. I often find myself denying that my own kids will ever outgrow toddler beds, let alone apply to college one day.  But, time keeps marching on… 

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Warnings of all kinds come with pregnancy and motherhood. Friends with the best of intentions tell you countless birth stories during those final months, and you find yourself nodding and smiling while secretly you want to plug your ears and use your sing-song voice to say ”la la la la la lala.”

There are stories about stretch marks, the pains of childbirth, stitches in places where there should never be stitches. Ever.

Tales of mountains of diapers, rivers of vomit and forests of bottles. Sleepless nights, exhausted days. The terrible two’s, potty training and the very first ”look Mom, I cut my hair all by myself.”

There are the days when you wonder whether or not you can jump in your car and run away from home. When you realize you have changed every word to end with an ”Y”: blanky, snacky, juicy, sippy, nappy, and you wonder whether or not you’ll ever have another conversation with an adult.

But then there are the stories that only your heart can tell you. The tales that only the souls of your children can whisper to you when sleep has touched their minds and their arms are wrapped around stuffed animals. And as you lean against the doorway watching peace descend with the setting of the sun you realize that this mothering thing… it’s so much more than you could have ever imagined.

This week as we approach Mother’s Day, I take some time to listen to my heart…

I look through photographs of my two children. Between the two of them, 19 years of memories captured, suspended moments in time. As I flip through the pictures I’m struck by how I dove headlong into love in an instant. How I carried these precious babes under my heart for nine months and even then did not fathom the depths of my love.

How could I not know love until I heard the first cry? And in an instant I’m transported back.

I remember well the bright pink plus sign, stark in colour against a backdrop of white. I remember thinking that this muddle of emotions - this must be love.  

I remember watching the topography of my tummy changing, a shift, a blossoming into something that was more than me. I was overcome by a keen awareness that I would do anything, absolutely anything, to make sure this life had a fighting chance.  This unselfishness – this must be love.

And in the moments when I first cradled those fat bundles in the crook of my arm and marveled over how their long lashes, dark and soft, blinked and their eyes captured mine. I could see it all there, as if God was showing me the moments that were yet to come. The first steps, first day of school, the last day of school, and the heartbreak and angst of first love. In those moments, I could see love peering up at me and I knew that this look of dependence - this must be love.

And in their eyes was the reflection of my fears – how could I possibly do right by this child? There were moments when I never thought I would make it. Moments when I thought my feet could not take one more step.  When the laundry outgrew the laundry room and the floors were littered with Cheerios and goodness knows what else, and through it all I wondered if I could possibly have enough love to make it through the day.

By the grace of God, I did.

My babes have grown into amazing people. Each of them with a heart after God. Both of them with dreams perched and ready to take flight, and I realize that soon these wonders will leave home and if the walls could sing in our house. If they could sing you a song, they would tell you that love inhabited this place.

And love is what you make it to be. Love is how you choose to view what you have been given and count it all as gift.

All of the moments when their thorny words pierce your heart, their eyes roll annoyed and their sarcasm drips bitter. In the middle of all of that there are still the gifts that you can choose to hold on to: the hugs, the tiny warm hands clinging to yours, the half crescent soft of lashes just there on the cheeks of angelic sleep.

There will be moments – even as they enter adulthood, when you want to hold onto childhood forever and instead you’ll let go with their plea, ”Mom, I can do this on my own.”

And you know that as their fingers slip through your hands and they get swallowed up in the throng of this big wide world that the letting go is love too. You will realize that the very pain that pressed them into this world is the same pain that presses on your heart as you release them to their purpose and their dreams.

How about you? Do you see every moment of your life in motherhood as life loved?

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tonyaTonya is the wife of 21 years to one good man and the mother to Mikayla (19) and Dylan (16).  She is learning that even though she and husband are entering their “empty nest” years, the beautiful task of mothering is never-ending.  She is grateful that the grace of the cross covers all of the things that she may have left undone as she prepares her children for the big wide world. Tonya writes over at Stone to Heart in hopes of having others recognize the beauty of their own story despite life’s circumstances.

Motivation vs. Perfection {Thanks to Motherhood}

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Welcome to day three of Thanks to Motherhood! I hope you are enjoying this as much as I am. 

Today,we get to hear from Tiffany. And you know what? She’s got some wisdom for you, so read on…

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Motivation vs Perfection

I made a commitment at the beginning of the year to wake up earlier (not just 5 minutes before the kids to inhale a quick cup of coffee) and begin my day with reading the Bible and spending quiet time in prayer.

I have to admit that some days I fail and sleep until I hear the voice of a sweet little 2-year-old calling for me. On the days I do manage to fulfill my commitment and get my bottom (trying to keep it G-rated) out of bed, I feel renewed — gaining wisdom and peace before the craziness of the day begins.

One of daily devotionals I have been reading is on parenting, and I have found that it provides me with a fresh perspective to start each day.

In a recent devotion, I read,

The parenting journey is full of mistakes. We will never be perfect. But, we can be comforted by the fact that God knows us, He knows the mistakes we make, and He loves us just the same. He doesn’t expect perfection. God expects us to offer our parenting as an act of worship. When we renew our minds by internalizing His truth, and parent according to His plan for success, He is pleased. You know what this is like — when your child presented you with a project they made you hung it on your wall or refrigerator because it represented their love for you. It wasn’t the artistic excellence you prized, but the motivation behind it. It is no different for God. Renew your mind and parent your kids as a spiritual act of worship to please God.

This devotion stood out to me more than anything else I have read all year.

I will never be the perfect mom. No matter how hard I try each day, I will fail. Sad, but true.

Although it doesn’t have to be sad or discouraging, I can focus in on my motivation and forget about being a perfect mom. Each morning (whether I am up early or late) it is (and always has been) the desire of my heart to show my children unconditional love. The very same love I receive each and every day from God. Yes, there will be times throughout the day that I lack patience, lose my temper, act selfishly, [insert other sin here]… I am human and it is inevitable that I will fall short of perfection each day. But, I will not focus on my shortcomings, but rather refresh my mind each day with a renewed perspective and a constant motivation to show my children and others love.

This has prompted another motivation in my life… to teach my children the same valuable lesson I just learned. At ages 4 and 2, they are a little young for a deep discussion on this topic. But, through simple actions and words, I can teach them that mommy values their motivation to obey, be kind, share, [insert other good deed here], and I will never expect perfection from them. When they fall (physically or spiritually), I will be there to pick them up and love them unconditionally. Now, this doesn’t mean there will no consequences for their disobedience, but rather, there will be understanding, forgiveness and love shown to them after consequences have been carried out.

I desire for my girls to be motivated by a desire to love, and not the pressure of perfectionism. And, I want them to understand that it is through our shortcomings that we learn and draw closer to God. Don’t worry about being perfect… worry about loving others.

I will not get a gold star at the end of each day for Perfection in Parenting. And, that’s ok. The desire of my heart is to love my children and do my very best each day.

Interested in learning more about the daily devotional I am currently reading? Visit www.parentingbydesign.com.

Note from Sarah: See what I mean? Wisdom. And not just for moms. Starting your day by setting your sights on what’s important to God (by spending time in the Bible and in prayer) is just what the Physician ordered. Add Tara’s habit of counting your blessings throughout the day, and you’ll be on your way to JOYFUL living. Will you say hello to Tiffany in the comments? I’m so thankful to her for sharing her story with us!   

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Tiffany

Tiffany is a mother of two young girls, Madison (4 years) and Hayleigh (2 years). Four years into this thing called motherhood, she has discovered MANY things about herself, and she looks forward to all there is to learn in the years ahead. She is thankful for all the “moms” in her life. While she may have lost her mom at a young age, the Lord has placed some amazing women in her life to fill the role of mom to her and grandma to her girls. She is so very thankful to be a mom and have moms all around her for support, love and friendship.

For THIS Child I Have Prayed {Thanks to Motherhood}

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Welcome back to Thanks to Motherhood – a weeklong series of guest posts from friends both old and new! I’m excited to open this space up to moms of all walks of life. My hope is that each day you’ll be encouraged by these mamas and their stories. And if you’re not a mom? I hope you’ll be inspired to love and support a mom in your life.

Today, I’m absolutely thrilled to introduce you to Tara, a ”real life” friend. I think you will love reading about her recent change of heart… 

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“For this child I have prayed.” 1 Samuel 1:27

It hangs right above her crib so that I never forget – a constant reminder of the journey the two of us have been on. Even her name, Hannah, is a tribute to those prayers of mine.

There were nights of tear-soaked-pillow prayers while I waited for God’s timing and please-let-this-one-stick prayers when it finally happened. There were please-God-let-everything-be-okay prayers while we spent a weekend in the hospital and four weeks on bed rest and please-get-off-my-pelvic-bone prayers at the end of my pregnancy when I could barely walk. When she was born, there were even more please-God-let-everything-be-okay prayers while she spent her first two days in the NICU.

And then we came home.

Not only did I have the happy, healthy third baby I had been praying so desperately for, but she was also a girl. A girl after two boys is something special. I know every baby is special, but the fact that this prayed-for-baby was also a girl seemed like an extra gift. If my boys were two layers of the delicious chocolate cake of my life, she was the sweet (chocolate) icing.

All my prayers had been answered.

Right?

Wait a minute.

Did I accidentally pray for a baby that refused to sleep? A baby that cried for hours at night? A baby whose only method of soothing herself was crying until she fell asleep?

Somewhere along the way I must have said “And while you’re at it, God, just go ahead and give me the most unhappy, difficult baby you’ve got!” (At times, I felt so desperate that it is entirely possible that I did utter those words.) Throw in a bad case of eczema, terrible allergies, and every childhood illness you can think of, and you’ve got the beautiful package of our first year together tied up in a bow.

Once I even took her to the doctor because I was sure he’d have an explanation for her behavior. There was an explanation, all right.

“I’m sorry. Some babies are just more difficult than others,” said the doctor.

I told him that wasn’t possible. My first baby was difficult, and surely each family is only given one! My logic seemed sound, but I had to accept what I already knew. We had just been blessed with another difficult baby.

There were days, even entire weeks, when I forgot about my long nights of praying.

Now my tear-soaked-pillow prayers were begging and pleading for her to just please stop crying already.

I should have been rejoicing. I should have been celebrating her every day. I should have been shouting my gratitude from the rooftops.

And I knew it.

I knew I was not living the gracious, thankful version of motherhood that I wanted to be living. I became desperate for something else – to get back there. Back to the joy I felt when that plus sign popped up so many months ago.

It was time to change my tune. Time to get thankful.

I knew that I couldn’t change her crying. I mean, I had already tried everything. That meant the only thing I could change was me.  So, I talked to my trusted friends, read some great books, and I started praying some please-God-help-me-change-my-ways prayers. I started thinking of it from her perspective. How awful to spend so much time unable to soothe yourself! If she had words, what would she say to me? What would she want me to know?

I just started thanking God for everything about her.

Thank you, God, that she’s up crying right now. It gives me more time to pray for her!

Thank you, God, that she’s a car-puker. If she didn’t puke in the car, I would never get around to cleaning it!

Thank you, God, that she took her sweet time learning how to walk. It gave me more time to hold her!

Thank you, God, that she doesn’t have many words. It’s teaching me to figure out new ways of understanding her!

Thank you, God, that she’s a relentless climber. Her little pants make an excellent duster for my dining room table!

Now when I feel that familiar frustration welling up in my chest, I push it down with some thankfulness. It has seeped into every aspect of my life, and now I’m thankful for the ability to be thankful.

To my surprise, it wasn’t a third baby that I needed; it was this baby that I needed. Someone to come into my life to teach me how to rejoice even when rejoicing was the last thing on my mind.

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Note from Sarah: First of all, isn’t Tara great? I think I should either force her to start her own blog or beg her to be a regular contributor here. Also, I happen to know that one of the great books that Tara mentions reading was One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp. (It was my marked up copy, in fact!) If you find yourself identifying with pre-thankful Tara (as she describes herself in this post…because I’m pretty sure she has always been thankful), I highly recommend the book!

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taraTara is mom to a kindergartener, a preschooler, and a princess.  She’s married to her best friend, and they live in a home full of love.  She loves naptimes, reading, and cooking.  In her spare time, she’s a photographer for children, families, and newborns.  She has a wonderful extended family and a great circle of friends, and spends a lot of time counting her blessings!